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The Perils Of Freelance Writing (Or) All The Stuff You Don’t Get To See
If you set out to be a writer, and go at it with all the determination that most people go after getting laid, on some level or another, you will succeed. If you push hard enough, someone, somewhere,...
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You’re Doing It Wrong: An Open Letter To All Parents Ever
Dear Parents, First off, let me begin by giving you credit. You have the toughest and most important job in the world. It is YOU who brings up the next generation of people who will dictate how this...
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My Sex Bracelet Experience (Or) How I Learned That All Kids Nowadays Are...
Flashback about seven years. I am working my old job at the laser tag arena (yes, seriously) and I am just standing around, minding my own business, most likely high off my ass. Suddenly and out of...
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The Pockmarked Ghost of a Warrior Poet: My Drunken Night With the Spirit of...
I walked in the place a little after midnight, and it smelled like every poor choice I ever made, collected in one room forgotten dive bar. There was a layer of visible smoke between your gaze and...
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The Suicide Bandage (or) How I Learned To Live After Death
Fifteen years ago this upcoming weekend, someone I cared for and loved very deeply passed away at his own hand. It set in motion a very dark period for my life that I do not talk about very much. I...
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I Want To Start A Social Media Site Based On Bartering ®
Believe it or not, none of us should be paying cash for anything. Seriously. It is a process that makes very little sense when you stop to think about it. Each and every one of us has a skill the...
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2014: Dr. Strangelife (or) How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love an Awful Year
2014 was an awful year for a lot of good people. Hell, let’s be honest. It was an awful year in general. If you had a great year last year, this is not meant to undermine you in any way. Just know you...
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How To Be Badass in Movies 101: The Symbolism of the Apples in Film
Apples have three tiers of symbolism in movies, and I figured now would be a good time to share that with my people. You either have symbolism 1, which is forbidden fruit, which goes back to biblical...
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